In the early 1990s, I served as a church leader at a small evangelical congregation in Springfield, Missouri. I left after a few years due to my growing recognition of the logical inconsistencies in evangelical Christianity’s view of sex. This article is a summation of my thoughts on the subject.
Evangelical Christianity has long placed sex at the center of its moral teachings. Sermons, books, youth programs, and purity pledges all stress sexual discipline, usually framed around two big principles: sex is a God-given gift for pleasure and bonding, but it is only permitted within marriage between a man and a woman.
On the surface, this seems straightforward. But when pressed, the evangelical sexual ethic reveals deep contradictions. The rules do not always align with biology, psychology, or even their own theology. Here are the most glaring logical tensions.
Sex is for pleasure, but pleasure outside procreation is suspect
Most evangelicals today readily admit that God designed sex not only for making babies, but also for pleasure and intimacy. This is why marital sex is celebrated in books, conferences, and even church sermons.
Yet historically, the Christian tradition (especially Catholic and early Protestant teaching) considered non-procreative sex sinful. Evangelicals reject that history, but they still condemn acts like masturbation—even though it provides the same God-given pleasure they affirm in marriage.
The contradiction is: If sexual pleasure is divinely designed, why is it holy in marriage but sinful when experienced alone?
2. Masturbation is “lustful”, but marital desire isn’t
Evangelical teaching typically condemns masturbation on the grounds that it involves “lust”—usually understood as fantasizing about someone you’re not married to. Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:28 (“whoever looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery in his heart”) are invoked as proof.
But this standard raises problems: what about desiring one’s spouse? If arousal itself equals lust, then even married sex would be tainted unless it’s purely mechanical for procreation. Evangelicals solve this by redefining desire for one’s spouse as holy passion, while desire for anyone else (or in private) becomes sinful lust.
The contradiction is: The same biological feeling—sexual desire—is called sin in one setting and holiness in another.
3. “Wasting seed” is sinful, except when it isn’t
The story of Onan in Genesis 38 is often misread as a condemnation of masturbation, because Onan “spilled his seed on the ground.” But the passage is about Onan refusing to fulfill his family duty, not masturbation. Still, the idea of “wasting seed” persists in evangelical logic.
If ejaculation outside procreation is wasteful, then:
Sex with contraception is wasteful.
Oral sex is wasteful.
Even most marital sex (which isn’t intended to result in pregnancy) would be wasteful. Yet evangelicals celebrate all of these within marriage.
The contradiction is: They condemn “wasted seed” when it applies to masturbation, but quietly ignore it when applied to marital pleasure.
4. Sex is natural, but must be suppressed until marriage
Evangelicals acknowledge that sexual desire is built into human nature. But instead of accepting this as a normal part of development, they frame pre-marital desire as temptation to be resisted at all costs. This creates cycles of shame, secrecy, and guilt, especially for young people.
The irony is that biology itself provides an outlet: nocturnal emissions (“wet dreams”). The body clearly does not consider ejaculation outside of marriage sinful—it does it automatically.
The contradiction is: If God designed the body to release semen involuntarily, why is deliberate release considered immoral?
5. Purity culture condemns sex, but prizes beauty
In practice, evangelical communities don’t avoid attraction. Many celebrate physical beauty in courtship and marriage. Christian culture produces books and advice about “keeping your wife attractive” or “enjoying your husband’s body,” even while warning constantly about lust and temptation.
The contradiction is: Physical attraction is condemned as lustful in movies or fantasies, but encouraged as holy within marriage.
6. Violence is tolerated, but sex is feared
A final cultural contradiction is visible in evangelical media habits. Many will watch action films full of shooting and killing without objection, but cover their eyes at a single sex scene. Violence, which destroys life, is treated as entertainment. Sex, which creates life, is treated as dangerous.
The contradiction is: Life-taking is normalized as “just a story,” while life-giving intimacy is portrayed as corrupting.
The evangelical view of sex is caught between biology and theology, between inherited Christian suspicion of the body and modern affirmation of marital intimacy. By declaring sex both holy and dangerous, pleasurable and shameful, natural and forbidden, evangelicals live with a constant tension that rarely resolves logically.
These contradictions explain why many raised in purity culture experience deep confusion, guilt, and difficulty integrating sexuality into a healthy sense of self. Biology does not obey theological boundaries, and theology struggles to explain away what the body naturally does. Until evangelicals reconcile these tensions, their teachings on sex will continue to produce more confusion than clarity.
